I happen to love the number four. It encompasses the beautiful array of seasons: Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall. And the elements: Water (what we’re mostly made up of), Air (the breath that keeps us alive), Fire (our spirit, our passion), and Earth (the ground beneath us, what grounds us to our true selves). And of course, there are the four…
I’ve been thinking about time recently. Not the fact that I’m running out of it, or how I’m wasting it, or what to do with it. No. Time itself, or our sense of time. Once you start thinking about time, you come across a real paradox. When I did a little investigating, I discovered that the problem that struck me…
On the day my father died, my grandmother disowned me. I guess her grandchildren were too painful a reminder of her lost son. I was only 14, too devastated to care. As the years passed, though, I did begin to care and to find it unfair that she could just dismiss us from her life. At 23, I walked up…
I think many of us find it difficult to get the support we need from our partners. When we hear from a distressed person, our instinct may be to protect or to fix, in addition to being kind. But men and women tend to respond differently when it comes to support. “I used to have this whole dialogue going on…
At the end of an essay on the American painter David Salle in Janet Malcolm’s new collection, Forty-one False Starts, Salle asks the author, “Have you ever thought that your real life hasn’t begun yet?” It’s a sentiment many of us share. Increasing numbers of my psychotherapy clients complain of a life in which they play a bit part. They…
A friend called to talk to me about some issues she was having with her husband. She told me they were in therapy. Again. They’ve been down this road several times before. According to her, she’s tried everything to save her marriage, and she has: counseling, communicating, crying. But the bottom line is if he’s not willing to work on…
It’s 5:20 on a Monday evening. I took a vacation day, and I’ve been sitting in a coffee shop in Logan Square since morning, frantically cramming for the neurobiology portion of my Anatomy and Physiology final. I’m woefully underprepared, and I know it. I can’t stand being underprepared for anything, but I haven’t been able to focus on studying. I’m…
